


if this is love, do I really want it?

by hecacs



Category: bts, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friends With Benefits, Implied Sexual Content, Jimin loves Yoongi, M/M, Mutual Pining, both are confused, fubu, fuck buddies, slight angst, yoongi gives signs, yoonmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:28:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29650644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hecacs/pseuds/hecacs
Summary: The only thing Jimin looks forward to after sex is holding Yoongi's face in his hands, pretending he belongs to him.A very short au where pieces of Jimin are left in the wake of his place when the truth dawns into his mind when he realized that he could never take Yoongi's heart and turn it his.
Relationships: Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin
Kudos: 10





	if this is love, do I really want it?

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this around 2019 or 2020 and this was actually a thread based fic so if you look closely, you'll see big spaces in between. I hope I was able to express their sexual lifestyle based off of books and interviews in the best way despite my lack of good writing skills. Anyways, enjoy!

As the light shines through the windows of Yoongi's apartment, Jimin stands up and dresses himself, about to take his leave when Yoongi grabs his wrist and holds him back, pinning him underneath him.

And Jimin falls in love all over again at the sight of his soft features.

"What are you doing?" Jimin asks quietly, barely audible for anybody to hear but Yoongi does. He always does and he leans closer, brushing his nose against the side of his neck and Jimin mewls, trying to get out of his grasp. "Stay here, baby. Don't you miss me?" He whispers so lovingly that Jimin forgets he should be leaving because this is all a game, an act that they're playing since they're both human and both so torn apart that they let their bodies speak instead of their emotions to fill the void that yearns for more than just sweet touches and words that linger on your lips.

Yoongi tells him that he'll go out to buy groceries and that when he comes back, he expects that Jimin is still there. Docile as a lamb, he nods and sits on the bed in the mess of last night's game. Every night, Jimin gets a text from Yoongi, telling him that he wants him and Jimin always comes to his aid as a passionate lover willing to sacrifice everything for his needs. He waits for that text every night and when he doesn't, he cries because bit by bit, he is falling in love with the man that can't be his. Whose aim is to play and have sex as a way to destress.

And Jimin can remember the very first time they played. How he opened up his legs for display for him to see and his hands gripped the sheets when he finally went it. He can still remember the way Yoongi did one of the very rare occurrences among fuck buddies; other than cleaning him up and giving him aftercare, he would leave kisses on each mark, bite and bruise with so much affection and he didn't stop there though. He would surprise Jimin with gifts, of things he had always wanted and put it on him. Yoongi would have them delivered to his place with little confession notes that only made him even more confused about what he should feel. When he had the courage to ask, all Yoongi could muster was, "Because I want to."

_And Jimin began to fall._

They didn't go out together or on dates. They would just stay at Yoongi's apartment with the younger listening to his every word about anything and everything, always eager to find out something about him. He knows that Yoongi is a producer but he doesn't know for what company. He knows that he cooks but rarely for anybody. He can read Jimin like an open book yet Jimin knows so much about him and know so little. But how can he beg for more when it's not his place to know? So even though it ate him alive every night to undress for the man that had his heart, he stayed. Let him have his way. Let him take care of him. Let him play. And Jimin could do nothing but submit and obey because for the first time in his life, he wanted nothing more than to serve somebody. He wanted nothing more than to feel his hands on his body. He wanted nothing more than to be wanted and yearned for.

He wanted Yoongi to love him too; body and soul. But he can't for this is all they were and are. This is what makes them who they are. This is what makes them strangers in every way. 

Because no matter how hard you want and beg and plead and ask, but when you want and want and want for something that you know is out of your reach, the only thing that will break you is you.

And that is why Jimin stays too. Though the pain kills, it is love and he loves Yoongi who could never know.


End file.
